Everyday someone somewhere is made a father or a grandfather. Everyday, opportunities present themselves for the lessons taught by a father to be put to practice. This post is long overdue.
Christianity teaches the importance of a father. It basically states that the role of father/man in a home/marriage is to depict that of Christ to the Church.(This is how i see Ephesians 5:25 .it sure extends to the entire family set up , beyond husband and wife relationship). That is definitely a heavy role. It just means that the men ought to pay attention to every single thing they do and every single impression or lesson they indirectly impart so as not to taint the image of God. They are to portray God as what he is. Loving, caring , helpful , provider of covering in different aspects, emotionally dependable, etc.
I find it really sad that at times the men of this particular generation would much rather use the quotations of the bible and the ideologies of the African society to commandeer respect or reverence from their families or children rather than live up to their responsibilities.Its not enough to be a provider financially. It is important to also provide ample care and support to the family unit, by being present or making the very basic effort to be important in the lives of all who look up to the man as a father.
I find it particularly interesting how my Pastor’s wife mentioned that in different ways she has seen her husband treat her not only as a wife but as his daughter. She mentioned how she was in a confused state once and was struggling to enter their SUV but he whisked her off her feet and put her in the car , as though she were a sixteen year old .Lol He also mentioned how the other day he was teaching his kids (grown adults) how to pray. That touched me. Most people learnt prayers from their mums (last I checked). While this talk about fatherhood was going on, i noticed a father and his toddler daughter taking a walk in church. The father had her in his hand and she was a bit distracted not paying attention to where she was going but because he was paying attention and “had her”, when they got to a step and she lost her balance momentarily she didn’t fall. I just felt it portrayed ,to a large extent , what goes on in the lives of people and how having a father is of great help. The father is able to protect and assist maybe not perfectly or 100% but with his willingness he can do a whole lot.
I have a friend whose family “fatherly” traditions have me entirely love struck with their family. When I first met this dude, I did not realise he had lost his grandfather (paternal) before he was born. He spoke about his grandfather as if he wished he were still alive because he was missing him. It turns out the impressions he had of his grandfather were passed unto him or made upon him by his own father and his fathers siblings lifestyle. On his grandfather’s memorial, which happens to be a day before my grandfather’s, I remember I had gone visiting at his house. His dad kept reminding him to ensure he got ready in good time .”Get ready, we have to go and see your Grandpa”. I was slightly confused. It turned out this ‘ seeing ‘ was to go say a few words by his grandpa’s grave side, plant flowers, water the plants and basically honour his memory. I’m eternally mind blown by this. Lol. He also mentioned that he works at his father’s company. He told me of how he had to apply like a normal job applicant, sit for an interview and sign a proper employment contract -terms and all inclusive. I particularly remember him saying that even though he lived in his father’s house, if he were to get into his the office late, his father would ask him why he was late to work- just like any other employee. Then most Christmases, members of the nuclear and extended family would come from far and wide and literally have the best time of the year (fireworks, gunshots, home cooked meals and all the works) before dispersing to their different lives when the new year came. This “love-strucked-ness” most likely has root in the fact that all this reminds me of when my grandfather was still alive. We (My grandma, his kids, the grand kids) would all spend holidays especially Christmas till new year with him. He was able to draw us from our different lifestyles to spend time together and never miss an opportunity to drop his nuggets of wisdom. Lol. All the times we spent together were filled with so much laughter , love , celebration and food. From all this warmth, i just draw the fact that fatherhood should be like an “umbrella-ship”. creating lives, holding people together and teaching life lessons/values. I mean an umbrella cant be perfect protection from all that goes wrong but to the best of its ability it would be there for you come rain or shine.
On days like Fathers day I have a lot of people to wish “Happy Father’s Day” because I am blessed with many father figures. The one person I wish I had around a little longer so I could wish him this is my grandfather. They sure don’t make men like him anymore. I thank him for being a rock while he lived. I pray he keeps resting in the Bosom of the Lord. I pray more than anything that I am able to meet someone better than all these “ideal-scenario-men” i have heard of or known . Someone who would also teach my sons the value of family and love. That the value of these do not lie in how many women you can knock up or how much money you make, rather it lies in how much you are able to represent God and be an umbrella in the lives of those who look up to you. I sure pray for this.
Dear Dads and future Dads, remember that within the home you are the first form of stability to be provided for your daughter (who really needs emotional stability) and your son who would be someone’s husband and even a father someday.
Stay blessed as you read and share..xx