The general definition given to a bachelors eve is a night held in honor of a groom -to -be to celebrate his last night of freedom. Often it really is a night where debauchery is permitted. A hens night or bachelorette is an evening out organized for a woman who is about to get married.
I don’t know how I feel about the subject of bachelors eve in particular. I’m actually not very comfortable with it. I think that by all means guys can gather around have a drink or two, their old friends can give a talk on a trip down memory lane, advice can be given on the realities of marriage and the future , etc. it is also very important that the groom and his men get some rest before the big day! Not spend hours partying their energy and vigor away. I just don’t see the necessity of turning the bachelors eve into a mini Vegas in the name of catching last minute fun. I really don’t. No one ever checks to see the possible adverse effects of things that can spin out of control.
Now, I am not exonerating bridal showers or hen nights from any form of scrutiny. I know some go pretty wildly and very regrettable events take place but I find it unfair how most of them are centered around teaching the bride-to-be how to satisfy her husband-to-be behind closed doors. While at bachelors eves , it appears that the guy is kinda saying a painful good bye to a ‘more enticing’ or ‘tempting life’ of single hood, alcohol & women to cling unto one woman. These parties make it look like its such a sad thing to have a guy leave the market- I beg to differ. It really is not that deep , whatever happened to the joy of upgrading into a proper and full on companionship/ friendship ? I thought that was something that every guy desired deep down? Well, what do I know right?
I also wonder… If I close my eyes to the fact that my husband to be is throwing a wild bachelor’s eve , in future when he is to attend that of his unmarried friends am I to Understand and see it as ‘one of those things’ ?- As many of my Nigerian sisters have began to say. Frankly that sentence disgusts me because we as women are expected to be on our best behavior and conduct before and after our weddings. No one would understand sleazy pictures as one of those things .
I really don’t know but I don’t think it’s an absolute necessity. Rather it appears to be a glorified permit for all sorts of atrocities. Frankly I feel it’s a recipe for all sorts of disasters. I have quite a number of male friends who have told me of all sorts of things that have gone down at bachelors eves and frankly I was (still am) appalled. I just want to understand some things and I hope that in asking I would encourage every reader of this article to engage in some mental excercise.
Is a life of sexual fidelity and monogamy such a huge loss,sacrifice or a bad thing? Why then are many ladies brought in on the bachelors eve to entice , entertain and pleasure the groom to be and his friends ?
Is it not weird that in less than 24hours after the bachelors eve the newly wedded couple is expected to consummate their marriage ?
Why is the woman usually taught to pleasure her new husband while he is exposed to the pleasures he may ‘miss’ for the rest of his life ?
Why is a guy not allowed to cheat until his bachelors eve? Can’t he then Indulge in all those pleasures anytime before the wedding eve , seeing as he will throw a wild bachelors eve?
Does permitting your husband to attend his friends bachelors eve mean he can dabble into whatever he pleases for just a night each time his friend is set to wed?
Doesn’t this one night permit mean that at any other time an opportunity presents itself, infidelity is permitted ?
What if a lady that attends this eve to help spice things up (dancer , stripper or what have you , ) what if one of them gets knocked up? That will change the life of whoever is responsible all in the name of some ‘minutes in heaven’… What happens if it is the groom to be ? Would his groomsmen or wing man help him bear responsibility ?
If last night of freedom requires celebrating , does that make marriage bondage /slavery? If so, why go into it and constitue nuisance to the society by becoming a nag or cheat ?
The night before a wedding should be for resting and running through to do lists and programmes in the order which they should happen. If any form of revelry must occur , it should be responsible and decent. Marriage is no prison or joke.
Your comments and opinions are welcome, this article pretty much sums mine up.
Stay blessed. 😁