I’m sure the title has already earned this write up a stereo type.
But, believe me, this is a ‘goodie bag’ discussion like you’ve never had it.
As a Nigerian Child, when you attend parties you have some concerns. The Major ones are winning the competitions and of course the ‘almighty’ party pack or goodie bag that you’d take home.
For some children, the goodie bag was and is still used to rank how cool someone’s birthday is or was.
I’m very sure I’m not the only one that remembers how serious an issue it was.
Anyway, as we all know,a goodie bag is a bag containing promotional merchandise or party favors like candy, small toys and things that appeal to small children.
I’m sure the song ‘goodie bag’ by d’prince of Mavin Records crossed your mind. If it did not, I’m mentioning it now for that purpose because it actually plays a role in this article… Yes, it does.
A goodie bag represents an individual and the “selling point(s)” like he mentioned in the song, are the ‘goodies’ possessed by that individual i.e qualities that will make them attractive or appealing to others.
The selling point(s) are basically what the individual has to offer that makes them appealing.
Have u ever asked yourself what you have to offer your neighbour, friend, or the world as a whole or what makes you attractive to them?
For some girls, I’m sure the first thing that comes to mind is ‘oh of course, I have a banging body’ or ‘I have a reputation of dating and dumping the hottest guys’ or even a reputation of giving sexual favours and a host of other shallow things.
Please note that I’m not here to judge anyone seeing as I am NOT perfect, but I’m just trying to state some important things that we have all overlooked over time.
As I was saying,
If all that I mentioned is what cuts it for you, good luck but take note of the fact that in a few years from now your ‘season’ would pass.
Now, you’re probably relevant because some guys who are just seeking entertainment or momentary appear to be adoring you with all their heart.
Just keep it in mind that it goes way beyond all that.
Its not about wearing the best weaves, carrying the most expensive bags and having the latest phones…. Don’t get me wrong! these are all very good, in fact if ‘packaging’ as we Nigerians call it is very key! And like d’prince who says his selling point is being a ‘fresh boy’, pls feel very free to be a ‘fresh babe’.
But if anyone sits with you and hopes to have a meaningful conversation, do you have anything to say to them that would actually be beneficial ?
Are you feeding your mind and helping it to expand or you’re just sitting at home, enjoying your parents money, chatting all day, indulging in completely futile engagements and keeping company that wouldn’t take you to anywhere or add a thing to you? Pls ponder on this.
Oh and for the guys,
I’m sure its the fat wallets, the expensive clothes and phones, the nice ride your dad got you with his hard earned money or you probably managed to buy. These are cool as well. But don’t go insulting babes that ‘swarm’ you to eat out of your pockets when that’s all you even have to offer in the first place.
You can’t follow Rick Ross and be calling yourself a boss when you can’t master laziness or other bad habits and take control of the turn your grades,habits or manners are taking.
A boss is in control.
Here are examples of things we all really need to have in our ‘goodie bag’ (or personality)…
*GOOD MANNERS/ETIQUETE – e.g Be polite for goodness sake it has never killed anyone. Know when to say please, thank you and I’m sorry.
Be reasonable too! switch off your phone or put it on silent mode when you know it could disrupt attention and attract unnecessary attention like in a meeting. Don’t come to a meeting, gathering or a serious face to face conversation and stay chatting or fiddling with your phone. Its very rude.
I remember having issues with someone some time ago. One day we took time out to discuss and settle our differences. Note that I did not force this ‘time for settlement’ on them, they even opted for it. The individual kept chatting, picking calls that could wait and was even greeting passers by…
After concluding that they did not regard me seriously, I didn’t know whether to pity them or just ignore their rudeness because I know they don’t actually know any better.
*DECENCY- e.g You really need to have at least some of this!
Know which event to wear that fitted dress or that t-shirt with the cheeky message to.
Oh and Please, don’t chew gum anyhow in a public gathering.
*VALUES- Don’t make anyone pressure you to do what you know you should not or what you don’t want to. If you don’t wanna get that tattoo why get it ?
If you don’t want to smoke that joint say it
Don’t be found where you know you could be pressured into doing what you don’t want to.
Lung cancer is not cool!… Just saying. AND people often remember you for what you do differently and not how similar you are to everyone you’ve met… ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT!
*BE CURRENT- stay in the know of at least basic RELEVANT current affairs. Its important.
*CONFIDENCE IN YOUR GOODIE BAG- By this I mean you should be confident. Be proud of who you are and what you’re worth. Know what you’re worth and don’t let anyone treat you any less or make you feel any less.
Of course, this applies only if and when there’s actually something to be proud of in the goodie bag.
I remember My pastor , Auntie Isi, once spoke about liking and wanting to be with someone. Trust me she had nothing against it , but she drew my attention to something very important. If your gonna date this person because you’re so convinced you’re mature enough to handle a relationship , cool but really what are you gonna give this guy or girl that no one else will? What’s special about you that no one else can offer? What do you have to offer?
If you don’t know, my dear take that as your homework.!
Find what makes you special today and work on it!
These days in a relationship its mostly about ‘giving’ and ‘receiving’… I’m very sure you understand what I mean. But its way beyond that though, can you date someone and boast that you have added to their life what no one else can? Because if you ask me, anyone can have sex with anyone , any guy can give any girl money or material things.
BUT, teaching values and lessons that stick through life are very rare.
My heart really goes out to those that hustle to buy the most expensive weaves and phones but when they open their mouth to speak, you can almost fall off your chair because depth of reasoning and simple grammatical coherence are lacking!!!
Please and please this is a new year do something new for yourself.
GIVE YOUR PERSONALITY A FACELIFT!
Don’t be all ‘PACKAGE AND NO CONTENT’ like my pastor would say. I think she means don’t be a goodie bag without goodies or selling points.
You really should be able to bring something meaningful to the table.
It goes beyond looking good. Develop your personality, have a thing or two that stands you out from a crowd.
So ladies and gentlemen, Just as d’prince asked,
What’s your selling point? Do you know your selling point? You gats to know your selling point. Identify your selling point!
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Please take a look at CARROT CAKE, a ‘long-short’ story I wrote on didindara.com. Please feel free to comment and do share the lin.
Here it is…