That Old Familiar Feeling

That old familiar feeling…

The one you get when you discover what you already knew.
Well, its the feeling that chokes you from within, the one you get when what you feared would happen comes right at you.

still confused?
Its the feeling that almost kills you. It can because after an occurrence, you’re telling yourself “I told you so”.
You saw it coming, it hurts anyway.
Its that feeling you get when you delay in order to buy time and calculate…
“to send this ‘IM’ or not to send it” to that someone. Then you have a ‘what the heck? I’d just do this’ moment and shortly after you hit the send button that someone serves you healthy reasons in generous portions to make you wish you had not bothered.
And so, you trap your bottom lip between your upper and lower molars as you feel the burns of regret torture your palms.
Its that feeling you get when that girl you’ve been dying to start up a conversation with but you know best not to attempt it, she walks past yet again and her fragrance induces that tongue tie and knee knock but some how, this time you stop her, you say hi and you actually introduce yourself. she ignores you and keeps walking. Yes, that feeling.
Its that feeling you get when the jocks are asking the cheerleaders to be their prom dates and you know the specific jock you’ve had this age long crush on is still ‘date less’ and so you gather up the courage to break the unwritten
‘guy should approach girl’ rule of the universe. You walk up to him and just as you’re about to call his attention he blurts out that he can not be seen at the prom without a cheer leader.
So ,  crestfallen , you walk back to where you were before.
Yes, you guessed it!
its that feeling you get when after all your reasonable suspicions were rebutted with disjointed and reverse psychology explanations. Yet you hope against all hope and dwell under the shadows of denial as you wrestle with that undeniable knowledge from deep within. Until the moment of truth arrives when you sight that lip stick mark on the shirt you always tell him he looks the best in and those carelessly forgotten used gloves in that back seat, that same back seat where he became your ‘first time’…
We’ve all had those moments.
The times when the burn from telling yourself  “I told you so”  emanated.
That old familiar feeling.

6 thoughts on “That Old Familiar Feeling

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