A YEAR A MONTH AND A DAY OLDER… (Yep, that’s me!)

blog p

Me on My 23rd. Felt A tad Marilyn Monroe ish. 

 

…. AND I’ve learnt there are levels/categories to being single. You can be single proper, like zero amorous prospects or you can be single but in situationships or single with several toasters and yet no suitable option. Also that being single (single proper) is a lot cheaper than being with someone. Let me explain; you spend less energy wondering why their mood swings are becoming frequent or if you are being a nag by complaining about unchanging bad habits, you have zero expectations and less expenditure when you’re single.

I’ve learnt one simply can’t pick a day not to adult once you desire to enjoy the benefits of being grown. You have to enjoy the advantages (as few as they are) as well as the accountabilities. You always have to be the bigger one & you have to be kind enough to take load off you parent’s shoulders. You cannot wear your emotions on your forehead for the world to see.

I have never waxed my legs. TMI? Okay, good bye. I’m not a feminist and I don’t have the over whelming urge to do something weird I a bid to seek pity or attention. Nor protest or announce the fact that I am me and I am comfortable in my own skin or any of those things they usually do. BUT I can’t see why you would rate unwaxed legs over a smart beautiful me. I literally lack the commitment to begin that journey. Your loss if you can’t see beyond that.

I have come to see from mere observation that commitment is immensely difficult. Daily you meet someone gifted in an area another is lacking. All the same greed is a choice that can be decided against and so is commitment.

I now know to never say never because no one is infallible.

I must not be afraid to ever say no when I want to.

Music with trumpets jazz and all that is a tiny piece of heaven. Try Chardonay music

Languages are usually so deep and intense. Translation cheats people of the true depth & true understanding is an absolute gift.

Fragments of what danced across my mind space today & in the last year.

Stay blessed.

Advertisements

Foodie Chronicles & A To eat List.

355

While I keep expanding my post on Spousal rape in Africa, (which I happen to have started writing since last week but still have not concluded) I have decided to just put out a bit of an update on what I have been doing / thinking. Yesterday , if my grandpa was still alive, he would have turned 93 but God knows best. I pray his beautiful soul remains at rest. I also pray I find someone like and even better than him . I remember saying to an aunt that I hope to find a man like him and better. She said “Hmm you may not marry oh!”lol. The man set an uber high standard. In other news I resumed work (after a 1 month breather in Ibadan) . I resumed two weeks ago and resumption came along with  a world of cravings I would not be ignoring.

Here is a list which I have constructed stating the meals and indulgences I plan to execute over the next few weeks.(In no particular order though)

Goodie the Foodie’To-Eat’ List.

  1. The seafood platter at ocean basket. Even though this list has no order, this is definitely number 1 on my to – eat list. I cant remember the name right now but i know it is for multiple eaters and it has all sorts of seafood goodness in/on it. I can not categorically say I would be sharing the platter though, still unsure.
  2. Enchiladas.
  3. Jimmy Rockets Oreo Milkshake.
  4. Lasagne.
  5. Nutella & strawberries&
  6. Whipped Cream (yes alone)
  7. Strawberries & Whipped Cream
  8. Doughnuts
  9. Oreo cupcakes
  10. A proper desert cake from RumnPassion

Now to my previous conquests!!

self chef noodles

Chef “me’s ” – sardine sauce, noodles and sliced banana. I think I was attempting to balance my diet.

355

355’s Prawns and garlic sauce on a rice bed or something like that. Still love struck just reminiscing.

nenz coldstone

Nene My love & another old time friend a good old ‘basin’ of a couple  signature ice cream. Coldstone creamy Ibadan.

cafe royal shrimp

Cafe Royal’s Shrimp Creole, An all time favourite.

eko hotel

Eko Hotel dinner buffet. A foodie’s (me) take on their dessert section. lol

chinaville dish

Chinaville’s fish dish

sky lounge dish

Sky Lounge’s Jollof rice & fish. At a friend’s birthday outing. I was busy chronicling my food.

yellow chilli seafood okra

Yellow Chilli’s seafood Okra

cafe crysalis shrimp bistro take out

Cafe Chrysalis Ibadan’s Shrimp Bistro take out.

studio freid frice

“studio”fried rice lol, staring Bimbee & I . She made the chicken and I the rice. Studio because that was where it was made.

dorm shrimp sauce

“Dorm” Shrimp sauce by Chef Me lol.

sunday lunch , ibadan.

Sunday Lunch, Soups & Sauces Ibadan. I was the one with the fanta. Yes, spaghetti & beans. Please, don’t judge me. some meal preferences stick right from high school

cafe crysalis dish

Cafe  Chrysalis Ibadan’s beef something something and rice. I decided to be “un-seafoodie” again

bolognese

Wimpy Ibadan. Spaghetti Bolognese. Not a meat fan but this was the bomb.

choc cake

Chocolate Bundt Cake. Ibadan. Ate this beauty (Alot of it) at a house party.

cold stone

Coldstone Creamery Ibadan’s Oreo overload, my favourite signature.

sunday crys.

Cafe Chrysalis Ibadan.Yes! Ibadan has great restaurants.  Sunday lunch, cant remember the meal name now but it had yam porridge, fantastic fish , plantain and vegetables

shrimp in chilli

Wimpy Ibadan’s  shrimp in chilli sauce. Sunday lunch.

johnny rockets.jpg

Johnny Rockets. Sunday Lunch The famous Oreo Shake I wish to ‘re conquer.’ & a burger. can’t remember what was in the burger now.

Looking at most of my Ibadan conquests I realise I had such a ball! jeez after school sundays aren’t as fun 😦 I honestly wonder what I would be like when I am ‘expecting’ because now that I am not I take my cravings very seriously. Oh! and in case you’re wondering why I am such a foodie….

wallpaper.PNG

Yep, thats my wall paper. Thanks to Cosmo’s snaps I get to remind myself “Food will never break my heart”

 

 

Eat, pray & eat again…xx

9-6 life; The low down. 

 

My quote

 
You’re probably expecting a cliche rant on how office life is one where you’ve gotta …” Just get ready fi work work work work work work”. 😂 see what I did there ? Well , you do have to get ready to work. You have to be sure to put in your best in order to avoid earning yourself a bad name. After all, it is your CV or recommendation at stake at the end of the day. That aside you get to learn a whole lot more. I mean these are things I already knew or experienced before but During my last internship , I got to put them to practice , test my knowledge of them and basically score my progress. Here’s a list of some of the things I learnt…
Emotional management : 

Bruh this was definitely the first lesson I learnt. You see,the workplace isn’t the ‘Africa magic school hostel’ setting. neither is it a market place. Therefore , you can never ever and must never lose your composure or “tie wrapper” and begin to exchange blows or hurl abusive words ,no matter what is said or done to you by whoever says it. You may just need to adapt Skipper’s (the lead penguin from Madagascar ) technique I.e ‘just smile and wave’. In the case of an office case , it would be ‘smile and leave’… the room that is. You would not want to throw months or years of service down the drain just because you let your emotions get the best of you. Not cool. 
Personal hygiene :

In this regard I would be discussing laundry. It would become more than necessary for you to develop a plan / scheme for constantly beating down the mountain that is called your laundry pile. If care is not taken you would just keep tossing things on it and procrastinating that visit to either your laundry room or the laundromat. Weekends would come and you may just want to sleep in. Public or bank holidays would also be used for ‘home’ work and more sleep or even both. Draw up a laundry time table ! 
Meal Plan: 

Once you operate 5/6 work hour schedule you have to stay nourished. If you are an early riser you could cook in the mornings or over the weekends then refrigerate and microwave your meals. Try not to become too dependent on your microwave or if you must , be sure to use suitable or appropriate containers as you microwave your meals. Another option , which may not be considered as financially wise , is to buy breakfast , lunch and healthy munchies to keep your mouth busy as you make use of your glucose levels. I said healthy to encourage those in ‘fit fam’. For me what helped was cookies , pastries , chewing gum and chocolates. Lol. 

Resisting temptation to allow colleagues be work/stress escape:
Forget the movies and let reality appeal to you now… It is not cute to get frisky with a colleague. Theres no thrill in putting your career or recommendation at risk. There’s nothing more awkward than having to play cool in public after a couple of ‘behind the office scene’ moments . It could actually affect concentration levels and quality of output. Imagine if your partner in frisk is your superior and scolds you or legit cannot stand the quality of your out put ? Would you take it personal or be rational and sit up ? Anyway , If your sneaking and snogging is to catch up with you , you would only have yourself to blame.

Time management :

This involves prayer time , cooking time , make up time , meal planning & bed time regardless of social media time. I’m not exactly a morning person and so I would much rather take advantage of my night time. Most of my evenings were best suited to prayer time. I often left my make up purse at work and tried to get in before resumption time. I’m no Make up artist but then I would stay in a secluded place and glam up to the best of my mood or ability lol. At night you have to get to bed as soon as you can and not let anything distract you. Some nights I got back super late. I found myself simply getting ready for the next day and then hopping into bed. 

Becoming your own personal google map whether or not you have a car:

Being a car-less Lagosian damsel , i learnt the necessary nooks and crannies. I learnt the short cuts of Victoria Island (where my office’s located) I learnt the tricks of how to zap to the office on the days I woke up 30 minutes to resumption time. Lol and God divinely connected me to buddies who were willing to assist a damsel in distress whenever there was distress. I also finally downloaded uber and learnt when traffic would be at its lightest to avoid running up my bill. 

Last but not least is treat yourself:

If you’re a cold stone ice cream lover myself , be sure to go for a cone or two (kidding) every once in a while. Or go to a nice restaurant for lunch or better still , treat yourself to something new be it a bag , book or work shirt. 

Work experiences differ. Mine was full of very interesting lessons. I enjoyed both the curricular and the ‘extra curricular’ aspects of it. The experience was one I sure wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.  

Umbrella… Everyday is fathers day.

dads pic

My 18th Birthday. Dad, Me,  Ibadan Dad (lol) and my Mum. The photo refused to crop out my mum. perhaps the photo has its own sense of things. 🙂

 

Everyday someone somewhere is made a father or a grandfather. Everyday, opportunities present themselves for the lessons taught by a father to be put to practice. This post is long overdue.

Christianity teaches the importance of a father. It basically states that the role of  father/man in a home/marriage is to depict that of Christ to the Church.(This is how i see Ephesians 5:25 .it sure extends to the entire family set up , beyond husband and wife relationship). That is definitely a heavy role. It just means that the men ought to pay attention to every single thing they do and every single impression or lesson they indirectly impart so as not to taint the image of God. They are to portray God as what he is. Loving, caring , helpful , provider of covering in different aspects, emotionally dependable, etc.

I find it really sad that at times the men of this particular  generation would much rather use the quotations of the bible and the ideologies of the African society to commandeer respect or reverence from their families or children rather than live up to their responsibilities.Its not enough to be a provider financially. It is  important to also provide ample care and support to the family unit,  by being present or making the very basic effort to be important in the lives of all who look up to the man as a father.

I find it particularly interesting how my Pastor’s wife mentioned that in different ways she has seen her husband treat her not only as a wife but as his daughter. She mentioned how she was in a confused state once and was struggling to enter their SUV but he whisked her off her feet and put her in the car , as though she were a sixteen year old .Lol He also mentioned how the other day he was teaching his kids (grown adults) how to pray. That touched me. Most people learnt prayers from their mums (last I checked). While this talk about fatherhood was going on, i noticed a father and his toddler daughter taking a walk in church. The father had her in his hand and she was a bit distracted not paying attention to where she was going but because he was paying attention and “had her”, when they got to a step and she lost her balance momentarily she didn’t fall. I just felt it portrayed ,to a large extent , what goes on in the lives of people and how having a father is of great help. The father is able to protect and assist maybe not perfectly or 100% but with his willingness he can do a whole lot.

I have a friend whose family “fatherly” traditions have me entirely love struck with their family. When I first met this dude, I did not realise he had lost his grandfather (paternal) before he was born. He spoke about his grandfather as if he wished he were still alive because he was missing him. It turns out the impressions he had of his grandfather were passed unto him or made upon him by his own father and his fathers siblings lifestyle. On his grandfather’s memorial, which happens to be a day before my grandfather’s, I remember I had gone visiting at his house. His dad kept reminding him to ensure he got ready in good time .”Get ready, we have to go and see your Grandpa”. I was slightly confused. It turned out this ‘ seeing ‘ was to go say a few words by his grandpa’s grave side, plant flowers, water the plants and basically honour his memory. I’m eternally mind blown by this. Lol. He also mentioned that he works at his father’s company. He told me of how he  had to apply like a normal job applicant, sit for an interview and sign a proper employment contract -terms and all inclusive. I particularly remember him saying that even though he lived in his father’s house, if he were to get into his the office late, his father would ask him why he was late to work-  just like any other employee. Then most Christmases,  members of the nuclear and  extended family would come from far and wide and literally have the best time of the year (fireworks, gunshots, home cooked meals and all the works)  before dispersing to their different lives when the new year came. This “love-strucked-ness” most likely has root in the fact that all this reminds me of when  my grandfather was still alive. We (My grandma, his kids, the grand kids) would all spend holidays especially Christmas till new year with him. He was able to draw us from our different lifestyles to spend time together and never miss an opportunity to drop his nuggets of wisdom. Lol.  All the times we spent together were filled with so much laughter , love , celebration and food. From all this warmth, i just draw the fact that fatherhood should be like an “umbrella-ship”. creating lives, holding people together and teaching life lessons/values. I mean an umbrella cant be perfect protection from all that goes wrong but to the best of its ability it would be there for you come rain or shine.

On days like Fathers day I have a lot of people to wish “Happy Father’s Day” because I am blessed with many father figures. The one person I wish I had around a little longer so I could wish him this is  my grandfather. They sure don’t make men like him anymore. I thank him for being a rock while he lived. I pray he keeps resting in the Bosom of the Lord.  I pray more than anything that I am able to meet someone better than all these “ideal-scenario-men” i have heard of or known . Someone who would also teach my sons the value of family and love. That the value of these do not lie in how many women you can knock up or how much money you make, rather it lies in how much you are able to represent God and be an umbrella in the lives of those who look up to you. I sure pray for this.

Dear Dads and future Dads, remember that within the home you are the first form of stability to be provided for your daughter (who really needs emotional stability) and your son who would be someone’s husband and even a father someday.

Stay blessed as you read and share..xx

WHY SO LOUD?!

IMG_5566

nearest picture I have to a “shout depiction”.

 

Recently I was added to a whats app group called “Orange Butterflies”. Its a group for married, engaged and single women. The discussion range is pretty wide.   As is the case whenever women affairs  come into question. LOL. As  I was saying, one day the topic was the volume/decibel of voice a woman uses. The discussion  stuck because I had noticed a general habit of being loud  ,shortly before the discussion came up ( which to be very frank had totally put me off) only for the ladies in the group to “unknowingly”concur!

A lady on the group mentioned how she knew another lady who would yell the entire house down till the second  her husband came home. Once he was in she would be like a mouse. silent and meek. While this would send sparks flying in many feminists minds ,  I definitely saw some wisdom in it. It is true that running a home and yet keeping yourself together is quite a task.It is also true that domestic staff and children can bring out ones true nature. All the same it is salient that you do not “lose yourself” or transform in a negative way in the eyes of your husband or significant other. You may just be dropping un-pretty  / negative lioness-like images in his subconscious . That was the point they were trying to make and I completely understood it.

A lady should be graceful at all times. A lady should always be on her best behaviour/conduct.There really is no point being so dramatic if the aim can be achieved without the theatrics.

Before this observation was made on the group,I noticed that ladies these days just can not be moderately audible. You pass a restaurant where a group of ladies are chatting at a table – the one leading the conversation is so loud the entire restaurant is literally part of the conversation. You pass a lady speaking on the phone – the whole world is forcefully made audience to the “monologue “. WHY SO LOUD??  Have you noticed that people who yell more are not as revered as those who just calmly make their point and keep quiet ? My face automatically scrunches up when I happen to witness an unnecessarily loud lady. Besides the occasions that call for being loud are actually few.

Please I am also writing to myself  as I can be  quite the “RHO-LOUD-INO”  but I am changing my ways. Its even weirder that I find myself drawn to guys that are quiet and more reserved than I am. There is just some finesse around being calm and unpredictable. No one likes to be seen as an empty barrel anyway. Well, it just is not classy to be the loudest in a room or in a conversation.

Dear reader, please before you speak , ask your self “Am i being loud?” “Must i be so loud?” If you can not answer these queries , ask a friend or someone around if you need to do a ‘voice check’. Let’s keep it classy shall we ?

Party Hats, Candles & Cake

DSC_6363

22md Birthday. Last year.

 

I would skip the apology for the unnecessary absence and just get  into all the different things that kept me away. Expect some “front loading “.

I can’t remember how long ago ,but I guess it was sometime last week, I thought about all my birthdays from my first to last ear in Uni and how I celebrated every single one. LOL.

I remember not wanting to celebrate my 18th and how my parents insisted that i did considering that the previous year , the year between my 17th and 18th,  involved a whole lot of changes in my life. They felt i ought to have been more grateful for the gift of life.I had 2 surgeries , My graduation from secondary school , Success -for a change in my final math exam-and then admission into Uni. I was going to be “legal”so i just wanted something like a frame-able  graphically manipulated photo of me dressed like the lady Justice. This was underway but the graphic designer flopped. It would have been very significant as i was turning legal and I had just become a law student. Anyway, I went to church/ fellowship on campus wit my roomie as it was a Sunday, I took pictures , picked up my cake and headed to the lovely venue for lunch with a number of my friends and my parents.

Ever since that birthday, I  have not dropped the ‘party bug’ my parents passed on. I have celebrated every single year after that. It is best to make the best of life when you have it. I don’t believe in playing to the gallery or trying to impress people but i guess I realised early that things can not always remain the same. This is why every moment is for seizing.

IMG_6640

20th Birthday cake. Chosen by me.

Now that i am out of Uni, it is not likely that i would have the time to think of celebrating let alone gather my friends with as much ease as I could back then. There’s now  work, law school (in view) and other “after school ” things to think about.

IMG_6634

I love Party Props.so don’t blame me please. Zebra print & hot pink theme. Peep the nails!

So , let me breeze through the happenings , themes and plans. For my 19th i had a house party as school had vacated and was to resume the day before my birthday.I stayed back to celebrate though. It was so weird considering that throughout elementary and high school it always fell during the summer holiday. Anyway, I stayed home and had my uni and home friends over. I had a black forest cake. It  was baked by the wonderful Araba’s homemade  bakery and it  said “19 and pristine”. We all played and goofed around. The food was home made and fantastic; fried(basmati) rice, hot dogs,etc. I made punch with my friend Peluwa and my friend Mowale made me up. In the evening my brother-in-law took my family and I out for Chinese dinner at Jade’s Palace or is it Place ? .For my 20th i had about 20 friends over for lunch at a Chinese restaurant ( one of the best in Lagos, lol). Still haven’t seen majority of the photos from that day. lol. For my 21st i had dinner and a Chanel themed “ärray”of cakes.The day fell on a Thursday and i was to have marathon classes. somehow all classes were cancelled a day to the birthday so I had my whole day to myself. This made me happy. My MUA and i created my birthday invites with our computers, lol. they turned out very nice though.  I decided to look a bit like a bride on her wedding reception as I don’t think the look should be restricted to one day alone! My friends who helped with the planning stayed over with me in the hotel we used as the dinner venue. It was a wonderful evening. I was gifted yet another Chanel cake days after by a wonderful friend. I had so many gifts. I still use some till date. Thankfully most were clothes and fragrances. My 22nd i decided to have a playful “nothing serious but yet fun”thing and I thought it was fab. I love cold stone and so i bought props and shared to my friends. There was an ice cream cake, a sparkler, pizza and coke. Lol. It was fun. we had fun like kids. I absolutely loved.

DSC_0088

21st Birthday Cake. “Goodie bag @ 21″theme.

 

 

DSC_0337I particularly thank God that I have never let any guy, that i liked or was seeing , to play a huge role in what happened on any of my birthdays. This is because , take it or leave it, the memory would forever linger. I stand to be corrected but I feel it would be a sort of  feather to his cap even when/if a break up happens. That he did this or that or bought this or that and yet yáll are though like it was nothing to his pocket.I think i am a bit too proud for that pettiness to be attached to something i take as seriously as my birthday. LOL. I have experienced some jerks that would rather you sulked and waited on them to make a move  than have any fun or they would try all the tricks to spoil the birthday mood. Thankfully all my birthdays were never spent waiting on anyone or disappointed by a supposed significant other. I mean if I was in a committed or serious relationship it would have been fine to be expectant to the extent which it is reasonable. I am just  glad I did my self the favour of just doing what i wanted and not “what the boo had dictated (either directly or indirectly )”. To someone like me who believes in celebrating birthdays I would have had it tough and then when I am going down memory lane it would stick out as a bad memory. This does not mean there were not any awesome guys who did wonderful things for me but they just did not take centre stage or even attempt to. 

Girls do celebrate but do not over do  it or try and use birthdays as competition basis. Also be independent enough to plan and execute a fabulous birthday for yourself.

Stay blessed , comment and share…x

 

Scales… Not The Artist Nor The Fish Feature.

je

I have been on this for a month and I realise I cant summarise the feelings a hundred percent. I just can’t.

Disclaimer: if you belong to the fold of women who claim to be feminist but aren’t even sure exactly with feminism entails, then you would be further confused by my post.  I’m here to preach marriage, well not exactly… I’m kidding… Lol!

I believe in equality for both men in women in the work place and in the classroom but I don’t agree that we are exactly the same. Even our physical build bears witness to this fact. This does not justify looking down on women or streamlining their effect or need in the society. It does not mean their only use or value can be in raising kids and running the kitchen. It does not mean the men are exempted from helping out at home every now and then. That is  absolute nonsense and if you’re dating and subtly encouraging the man to be the drone that sits home while you buzz around doing every single thing even changing light bulbs, then shame on you girl. Just to avoid this disclaimer changing the focus of this post, I will continue writing.

The Nigerian society doesn’t appear, to the best of my knowledge, to teach or help the ‘young girl’ to grow into an ‘all-round woman’. Let us take a a girl  from a pampered or not necessarily pampered but privileged background as an example. These  girls are (usually) shipped off to boarding house where they are made to balance chores and school work. They spend roughly 9 out of 12 months of the year in school. Then they graduate and go to Uni (most times very far from home ) and while in uni are told “don’t have boyfriends” “face your books” “don’t press phone” “leave face book”(Lol.. but you just said I should face my books, ha-ha. See what I did there ?).  After this they are to come out with the best grades, gather all the educational qualifications that will pile to the highest heavens and then head back to make the millions. Going by the average age of most masters graduates (26/27) this is the age where the weirdest set of questions now begin to rolling in. “When do you plan to marry” “when would you bring him home” “but the guy that drops you off at home is very nice why won’t you guys tidy things up quickly” I don’t quite get this switch. After being told indirectly that the qualifications and money matter the most, don’t you reckon the focus of the young lady would not be on groomin herself to be a good home maker? where would she even have time to permit being “wooed” ?  At the stage of being done with school , the girl is expected to always love being at home. After being shipped out for over 13 years of schooling ? I didn’t say don’t send your kids to boarding school but please the  expectation switch is not logical. If the child is consistently sent off to be the responsibility of others for so long, when they are due home upon graduation it can’t magically switches. Help them strike a balance

I happen to know two very brilliant women that lived very balanced lives and are married by 26. One happened to date her husband from her first year in uni till they both graduated and decided to ‘tidy things up’ lol. I admire them a lot actually one is a Pharmacist / make-up artist (Adesuwa) and the other is a lawyer /blogger (Katcheetee) .

I think this is where I explain my stand. As a 16 year old I felt the ideal age to start seeing someone would be between 18 -21 ish and then date to marry. I’ve met different guys and girls and life has definitely thrown me its own set of opinions that vary from my ideals but I will forever maintain that I would love to marry at 24. I think when you marry young, you are chanced to know your husband much better. You get to travel the world and live together as a legal (not sneaking around) couple for perhaps a year or two and then have children between 27 and 29. I think by doing this, you are giving yourself the chance to grow old with your kids. I don’t support raising kids when old or at the stage in life when one has attained the position (or the equivalent) of a manager or director at you lace of work. The quality of time and intent would definitely be affected. You find that at this stage most parents are tired, less attentive in the areas that matter the most and probably more permissive. Now I know things don’t always go as planned/desires and ‘man proposes God disposes’. So i’m just speaking from what I regard as the ideal point of view.

Even if I had twenty pages I would probably not pass my message across perfectly. I just think there is no strict formula for balancing love, academics, career and marriage. I hate to hear academics and career take the forefront of importance, only for them to lose their value upon attainment in the absence of marriage and kids. It just makes me think “what does the society want, really” “can it make its mind up already?”  I mean you can’t pick a part of a sermon and preach it, preach the whole thing at once. Do not tell people to study and when that’s all they do you complain they are only book smart but lacking on the home management end or taking too long to get married. Ten when the marriage and kids come the sermon changes to “you ought to be more balanced” “spend time with your family” “clean your house” “your kids are lacking attention they need”. I think this bipolar standard of raising an individual is crappy and is responsible for general imbalance in the lives of many.

 

Balance is one of the key elements in life. There’s nothing more attractive than someone who has their life and the activities in their life organized.  (speaking to myself subtly as well, lol).